In her new book, Hidden Genius, Polina Marinova Pompliano explores the defining traits that distinguish the world’s most successful and influential individuals. Among the standouts is Chris Voss, a former FBI lead international hostage negotiator, whose mastery of emotional intelligence under extreme pressure reveals the transformative power of listening and strategic communication.
Voss’s 24-year career with the FBI taught him that emotional intelligence isn’t just a feel-good skill—it’s a tactical advantage. He learned to read people, listen deeply, and speak in ways that disarm tension and invite cooperation. One of the most compelling examples comes from a 1993 hostage crisis at a Chase Manhattan Bank in Brooklyn, where two armed men held three employees hostage. As the second negotiator on the phone, Voss relied not on force or intimidation, but on empathy, tone, and attentiveness—three pillars of emotional intelligence.
He used what he calls the “Late Night FM DJ” voice: slow, calm, and soothing. This style of speaking doesn't just settle the listener—it also has a grounding effect on the speaker. As Voss describes, “Genuine curiosity is a hack for emotional control.” A calming tone triggers a neurochemical shift that deescalates emotional intensity, allowing clearer thinking on both sides.
Another tactic Voss used was mirroring—repeating a few key words the other person just said, but as a question. When someone said, “I’m under a lot of stress,” he’d respond, “A lot of stress?” This invites the speaker to continue, encouraging openness while keeping the negotiator mentally and emotionally anchored.
Perhaps most crucially, Voss labeled emotions. Without judgment or confrontation, he’d say things like, “It seems like you’re feeling cornered,” or “It looks like this isn’t what you intended.” By naming the emotions the other person might be experiencing, he created psychological safety and opened the door for trust.
These techniques—soothing speech, mirroring, and labeling emotions—helped resolve a hostage crisis without violence. But as Pompliano emphasizes, they’re just as relevant in everyday life. Whether you're navigating a tense conversation with a coworker, a disagreement with a partner, or a conflict with a teenager, the tools of high emotional intelligence are universally effective.
What sets individuals like Voss apart, Hidden Genius suggests, is not just what they know, but how they engage with others. Strategic listening—calm, empathetic, and curious—is the hidden superpower behind effective communication and leadership.
Excerpts in this article has been adapted from an article written by author Polina Marinova Pompliano published on CNBC.
Interested to find out more? Get a copy of the book on Amazon or Audible.
Written by Marlene Dinesen
